An Inconvenient Truth to Affiliate Marketing, After Sales & Shitty Business Plans

There are dark sides to every aspect of any business and the losers that bank on affiliate marketing need a reality check that grounds them down. Most affiliate marketers I know are dumbasses and they get into a business I like to call ‘Hit-&-Run Affiliate Marketing’. These assholes are so caught up with their pigheadedness that they fail to foresee what lies ahead of them.

There are a bunch of forums, blogs, and misleading articles everywhere talking bullshit about how people sell acai berries, colon cleansers, and teeth whitening creams making them gazillionaire overnight. If there is any truth to emphasize in this paragraph, it’s the word ‘bullshit’.

We all know most newbies are swindled into believing they can become the next online sensation. But let’s talk about what exactly ‘Hit-&-Run Affiliate Marketing’ is so that it clears out the crap these kids are brainwashed with.

Newbies first scout the web to find a new affiliate program that hands them the best payouts. Ideally, an 80% commission rate is what they look for. I feel like vomiting when they do this. Little do they know, most programs out there offer such high commissions only because they themselves know that the product they have is as filled with shit as they are.

Second, they start sending traffic to their landing pages through PPC, PPV & CPM. That’s a financial loss straight up their anuses. Bigger dingbats, opt for marketing emails, media purchases, and the whole fireworks. If I’m not mistaken, isn’t the point of affiliate marketing really about selling products no one needs? So why create negative publicity and trick someone into thinking they need this shit?

Thirdly and most importantly, they make money online in short periods running the risk of breaking down at any moment. No arguments there. We may debate about ROI, but that’s for another day.

Some affiliates do reasonably good at this ‘Hit-&-Run’ model. It’s given them more reasons to stay satisfied and not push their bank balances up. I have done ‘Hit-&-Run’ marketing myself and I was good at it. Luckily, I moved on to better things because I learned a valuable lesson from all the bullshit affiliate marketing taught me. What people don’t want to realize is that such affiliate marketing models are as good as a house of cards that can tumble down at any moment.

Affiliation is something that all marketers need to understand more deeply. Business teaches us a thing or two and the biggest takeaway is that inherent flaws are worth recognizing. Here’s what people don’t know.

1. The customer never belongs to you. You will spend shitloads of money on acquiring these people but they’ll never be yours. Can you imagine a world where you worked as hard as you did on your own product and retained repeat customers? Brilliant right?

2. You get paid just once. The affiliate manager isn’t concerned about you once you deliver his sale. You were the prostitute in this. He paid you a small fee for your services and he pimped out the rest.

3. If you stop spending money, the traffic stops too. No logic required here to understand. It’s just how the world works.

4. Your affiliate manager may pull out the offer or the product. Then what do you sell? What do you do? Move back into your mom’s basement?

5. Google may slap you. If you know what branding is, you will know how hard this slap can hurt. Do you want to take this risk?

6. Affiliate networks spy on you. Do you not think that your affiliate manager is not monitoring your campaigns? If you are doing something right, who’s going to stop them from implementing it themselves and then say ‘adios’ to you?

7. When you go to an affiliate summit, you really can’t share with others what’s working for you. Similarly, they won’t share their secrets with you. It’s called business.

8. Your customers keep changing and you need to ensure that you have the latest offers to lure them. Is this worth the will and money to keep investing in market research?

Remember, averagely, any successful affiliate marketing campaign should yield you a 55% ROI. If that is not working, it’s time to rethink what you’re going to do.

So you really want to know what’s the catch? The secret to making money is not making shit loads of money in a short time. It’s making consistent small packets of small cash and stabilizing that income. Big money is what comes after you have established a stable set of sales. Don’t be scared in experimenting till it’s done right. Now stop wondering how people earn 80% commissions. If you’re going to do something, make sure it’s an amazing fucking plan. Stop fooling yourself with a bullshit affiliate marketing plan. Move on.